Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Process

This afternoon we had a great meeting with our social worker. She went over the whole process with us, and cleared up a lot of questions. First, she had some good news for us. Typically, when someone switches programs (domestic to international) you have to re-pay the $1700 program fee. The director is not making us pay! We already paid the program fee for Russia, and it's just being transferred over. We received some new paperwork that we'll need to fill out. Let's just say it's incredibly less than what we've already done. :) We are very excited about that as well. We'll have it turned back in quickly.

Our next big job is to work on our Dear Birthmother letter and portfolio. The Dear Birthmother letter is basically an introduction of us, along with a picture, that goes into a book that birth mothers look at. If they like what they see and read, then they look at our entire portfolio. The portfolio is a total Jill project. It's basically a scrapbook of us, our home, our family, etc. with little journalings included along with it. No pressure, but we were told the portfolio can make or break us. She showed us a really good one (that couple got chosen in 6 months!) and a not so good one, where the couple ended up waiting a couple of years.

Once the letter and portfolio are complete, we will be offically "waiting" once again, and our letter will be in every LSS office in Wisconsin and upper Michigan. We have the option of finding out or not if birth parents are requesting to see our portfolio. We are also allowed to make changes to our letter and portfolio at anytime. Our social worker is great, and offered to look over a draft of our letter once we get going.

Next is the match meeting. When someone would like to meet us, we go to a meeting with that birth mother and her social worker. We'll go to whatever town that may be. This is a time to get to know each other, discuss open adoption, plans, etc. Our social worker said these meetings are not a job interview, and are typically pretty casual. I'm sure we'll still be insanely nervous!

Basically then we wait for the baby to be born, and in the mean time we get to know more about the birth mother, build some connections, and wait for the baby! Once the baby is born either the baby will go home with us, or go into Bridge Care (stay at someone's home who ONLY takes care of newborns, this is not a county foster care situation). Ideally, the baby would come home with us, but Bridge Care is available if there is worry about the situation (birth mother changing her mind, etc.). After 3-6 weeks, we have the Termination of Parent Rights Hearing, and then the baby is ours! LSS has to watch us for six months, and then the adoption is finalized.

I know we've summarized a lot of information into one post, and it probably will bring up some questions for some of you. Please know that everything we learned today felt great to us, and we feel very comfortable with LSS, and the whole process. It's all so exciting!

So now it's paperwork and letter writing! Wish us luck as we pour out our hearts, souls, and dreams onto an 8x11 piece of paper. :) We'll keep you updated as soon as we have anything new!

Saturday, June 13, 2009

News and Changes

Welcome all our friends and family to our new Adoption blog.

Why the change, you ask? Well, there's big news in the past week. Officially as of Friday, June 12th we have made a big change. We have pulled out of the Russian international adoption program with LSS and entered into the Domestic Minority program.

This decision did not come easily to us, nor was it an impulsive change. We did a lot of soul-searching, and had some very frank conversations with each other, and realized that this was the best thing for us. There were several factors that prompted the move. Partly it was apprehension about flying halfway around the world three different times, for weeks at a time. Partly it was the instability and uncertainty coming out of the Russian Ministry of Education lately. But most of all, it was the realization that we had other options, and that by going with a Domestic adoption we might have to wait a bit longer, but we'd be better off in the long run. The difference in cost between Russia and here in Wisconsin is enough to cover a down-payment on a home for us and our child. Even if that doesn't happen right away, it's still more money that could be put towards improving our overall lives. What it really came down to is that if we adopted from Russia we could have the family we want, but if we adopt domestically we can have the entire life that we've pictured for ourselves.

It's not just about the money, however. Everyone has been so generous in that regards, that we were well on our way towards funding the Russian adventure. There are other benefits to going domestically too. We won't have to spend all of our leave just getting the child, leaving us more time to spend with him or her right away before we have to go back to work. By going domestically we are much, much more likely to get an infant than a toddler, and our child will be less likely to have developmental or physical issues than an international adoption.

We are extremely excited about this new undertaking, and have no regrets at all. We've realized what it is we truly want, and have found the best way for us to get that. We hope you all will be as excited about this as we are, and we look forward to keeping you all informed on the journey.